slavecrowned | empatheias: mailbox

Hmmm. It's been a while. I need to feed P-chan plenty of blood again.

[This is... definitely not intended for anyone.]

[She certainly recognizes the voice, but—]

Blood?!

[That's disconcerting.]

Why are you feeding someone blood?

Eh?

[Terra can't see it, but she's slapping her hands over her own mouth like... like it would do anything to help at all. Over this telepathic connection]

T-Terra-san?! How- Why-!! No no no, I'm not feeding anybody blood! I'm so sorry, this wasn't meant for you!

[Or anyone?!]

[She can't see it, but she can sure feel that moment of panic. Thanks, crystals.]

LLENN?

[Despite her insistence, Terra can't help thinking the other girl sounds like she's been caught...]

But you just said you needed to feed P-chan— what's going on?!

[In a way, she was caught. Caught in her edgy teenager thoughts. She could never say such thoughts out loud in public because of how embarrassing they are.]

I'm thinking I should go out hunting monsters again! That's what I meant!

[A very morbid way to think of hunting, but yeah.]

A-and P-chan, my gun, hasn't gone out to any action lately, so-- [Hope that clears things up.]

You— oh!

[Alright, that makes more sense.]

You were talking about shooting things. That's— well, better, I suppose.

[She can't judge, she does plenty of monster hunting on her own.]

It is better! Yeah, it is-- shooting things. They're fun!

[Okay, LLENN. Breath. The next part that comes through is as unintended as the first message. Though it's delivered by a voice that definitely doesn't belong to LLENN's. The voice is older and deeper- sounds closer to a young woman in their early 20s.]

Thank god that misunderstanding is quickly over with. I don't want her thinking LLENN's a possible psychopath. ... though it's kinda a small part of her character now that I think about it. [LLENN(?) definitely did not mean to send this, too.]

LLENN—

[Except it doesn't sound like her? The context makes that fact even more confusing, and Terra frowns to herself as she asks:]

Who is this? What do you mean, LLENN's 'character'?

Huh?

[LLENN's voice is back.]

Um, did... did you hear that, too? [She thought she was pretty careful with her thoughts... Geez, this wasn't how she expected to be found out.]

I did. Was that—

[It couldn't be her, could it?]

Is someone there with you?

Ah, no. There's no one with me except me.

[This might be hard to explain for someone who never experienced things like VR. Oh well. She could try. A short moment after, the older voice is back.]

Er, hi there, Terra-san? I guess I should properly introduce myself first. I'm Kohiruimaki Karen. I guess you could say I'm LLENN's real-life self? [This is weeeird.]

[Terra knows something about having a dual-nature, at least, but this...

Well, it had been hard enough for LLENN to explain video games to her when they'd first spoken, enough so that she still doesn't really understand.]

Her real-life self? There are— two LLENN's?

[Or is it like playing a role onstage...?]

[Bingo! It is like playing a role onstage. And the stage is this entire world.]

Not exactly. LLENN is an avatar I created for a game. [Well more like the game itself auto generated this body for her but details.] I guess you could think of her as a fictional character...

Her personality is something I made up, too, whenever I'm in the game. I can never get a chance to be an excitable kid again, so I'm taking this opportunity to act like one. [...] Do you know a roleplayer is, Terra-san?

[She is one. Or would she consider herself a live-action roleplayer now?]

I... think I understand? She's make-believe.

[The idea of an 'avatar' is a strange one, but she's doing her best to follow LLENN's words regardless.]

Roleplayer... it's like acting, isn't it? Playing the role of someone other than yourself?

Yup. It's like casual acting than anything professional. I get to be the role of a little kid! I didn't get to be like one much when I was at a young age, but now I get the chance to be a real kid again.

[It's hard not to feel ostracized being the only tall female in any age group.]

The kind of game LLENN's from was a ruthless, post-apocalyptic wasteland where monsters roam everywhere and everyone outside the hub world is out to get you. [Well, that was her perception at first because she was a player killer.] I came up with her personality and adjusted it accordingly to the environment and experience I had there.

[She's a smol polite murder machine.]

Getting to be a kid again...

[Terra can certainly understand the appeal. She never had a real childhood to speak of, herself. The world Karen speaks of makes something in her run cold; it sounds so much like the kind of world she expects to return to when she leaves this place, except in her case, it would be very, very real— not a simulation.]

So LLENN is a child, but one who has to fight to survive in the world she lives in. But... you can stop at any time, is that it?

empatheias: mailbox

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